Resilience

Resilience is the most magic part of early recovery.  To see people resurrect themselves from a state of near self destruction and go forth back into the world is one of the fringe benefits of being in recovery.

Personally I think everyone should have their picture taken at their first AA/NA meeting and the copy given to them to keep forever in their wallet.  They should be able to see how they looked at the beginning and how much better they look now.  It would speak volumes.

Family and friends can see the difference, even though they may have quite a time trusting. And no one can blame them for that. But, everyone who knows the recovering person is aware that something hard to define is very different.

And that is a very good thing.

Anxiety

The great risk in very early recovery is anxiety, not drugs or booze.  It isn’t even depression as the chemical depressant has been removed by the act of abstinence.

Newly sober or clean people have little defense against anxiety, and the only relief they know is to medicate it one way or another as quickly as possible.  So the wisdom of AA/NA, is to use the slogans such as One Day at a Time or Think, Think, Think or Easy Does it to remind themselves to bring the anxiety into the present moment where it can be mediated personally.  And it works.

Mental Health sets up their path at exactly this point by either using Cognitive Behavioral techniques that do not work, or advising either anti anxiety medications or anti depressants.  At this point the paths diverge and for many never converge again in natural abstinence.  Diagnoses are made to comply with insurance regulations, the client is labelled as mentally ill and the need to continue the medication becomes pivotal to continued care.

It all could have been avoided with the 12 Step approach.  But for many it is the beginning of many years of decreased capacity due to mental health drugs they never needed in the first place.

Clean up real good

One thing about alcoholics and addicts is they clean up real good.  Anyone who has ever sat in AA/NA rooms for any length of time knows that is a fact. And this is just my own observation but about 2 months after abstinence begins with the last drink or drug the sober/clean person starts looking decidedly different. And it isn’t just that clothes make the man or woman.  It is some change in the faces of people about that time.  I know it can take that long for REM sleep to return, so they are sleeping naturally by then.  Another facet is that all the detox through the skin and the subsequent healing has passed. Dark skinned people’s skin lightens a bit.  Every bit of the blotchy skin and bloating are completely gone. And one day they just look healthy, bright eyed and like a shiny manifestation of their old drunk or druggie self.  I think everyone should have their picture taken on the day they stop using or drinking and then another one 2 months later and compare them.  It’s a wonderful sight!

Getting a sober job

One of the most concrete first steps on the road to recovery is to generate some income.  Few who get sober are not devistated financially. Many would say surrender does not come without a very high price.  We who enter this fellowship probably pay the highest dues of any club in the world.

It is the cherished desire of the majority of early recovery folks to get back on the track and salvage their former career.  That usually is foolhardy. We are so lacking in emotional and social skills that we are mostly unemployable, regardless of our former position.

If we are fortunate to be able to continue with the job we had when we hit bottom our performance and efficiency will be altered, at least at first. We have no real respite for the roller coaster of our emotions at first. For years we moderated them instantly with chemicals of one sort or another. Now they are out of the box running loose every day.

Here is where the wisdom of the ‘getting sober’ job comes in. Not challenging oneself about what one can really handle is very smart. Better a physically oriented rather than intellectually oriented position at first. This phase is best planned on for at least 6 months, and better a year. Seriously.

We are talking about life or death here. If you had cancer wouldn’t you expect a period of recuperation? Why not alcoholism or drug addiction then?  Take it slow, go to may meetings, develop a support system in the fellowship and ease on down the road.

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Sponsoring

In that great metamorphosis called recovery a sponsor in AA/NA is a spiritual guide here on the planet.  Their job is to share their experience, hope and knowledge of the program and Steps with you. Their job is not to solve your family problems, or job problems or financial chaos.  You may want them to do that, but they should resist strongly.  Because that is not the role of a sponsor.

The sponsor’s role is to guide you through the 12 Steps. not an easy job for them as most folks are really nuts when they arrive at AA/NA doorstep. They are blithely unaware of their emotions, and what they have are largely unidentified and uncontrolled. Their lives are in shambles from the effects of their substance use, and the call to repair that comes from many angles at once.  The ability to regulate emotions, time, finances, communication, are all compromised through the years of addiction.

And it is the sponsor’s job to try to mediate all that while keeping the sponsee on the path of working the 12 Steps.  That’s why the sponsor has to keep very good boundaries about what their responsibility to the newcomer really is.  It is only to guide the sponsee through the Steps into the beginning of a new life.

Changes happen and they are apparent

About 2 months the signs of the effects of abstinence become apparent. The first thing that changes is physical appearance.  The skin clears up and becomes a uniform shade. This probably comes from the inherent detox capacity of the skin, and the increase in available nutrition for the body.

Whatever the reason for the change it is heartening and very visible. One day a newly recovering addict or alcoholic starts to look different. They can see it in the mirror and you can see it looking at them.  African American skin gets lighter, caucasian skin looses the blotchy pink appearance, and the eyes get brighter and hair shines.

Alcoholics and addicts clean up well. It isn’t long before the early recovering person looks like he or she was never a chronic substance user. This is a plus and a minus. Along with this comes fragile self esteem and confidence that could lead to the completely addictive thinking concept that they can jump right back into life with vigor.

At that point, the AA/NA sponsor is hopefully in place to guide them to staying focused on the goal of long term clean and sober living. This is where the smart move is to get a ‘getting sober job.” This phase is where many well meaning early recovery folks pick up something and fall back into the dark pit of addiction.

Apres moi le deluge

After the turning point of sobriety or clean and sober living comes the real revolution.  In a very short time everything changes. Getting sober, it is said is easy, you only have to change your whole life.

This reality dawns in the first few days of abstinence. This thought is highly anxiety producing to the addict or alcoholic and the desire to continue whatever interface worked between the drug/alcohol meant to buffer life and the real meeting of life on life’s terms becomes irresistible.

Life on life’s terms is the issue. No mediating life with substances that color it different than it is seen by the majority. This is a tall order for the alcoholilc/addict. Enormous, earth-shaking, monumental changes done in a whisper.

Early recovery is a tight rope. It gets easier as the days accumulate, but at first balance is fleeting. So it is the same with emotions. Balance of emotions is pretty much impossible.  Duck and weave as the emotions show back up like a bad penny, greeting the newly abstinent with situations that challenge constantly.

Here is where the One Day at a Time philosophy fits right in.  Using that way of looking at the world makes it possible to maintain while the sober/clean world spins around you.